question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
