But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
