dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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