I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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