You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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