the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
