The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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