Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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