apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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