what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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