Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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