every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
