his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
