We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
