Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
