You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
