The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
