I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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