I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just threw up on my dentist
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Are we still banned from the library?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
