Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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