Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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