it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
And then he peed in my hair
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
