after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
