What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
