okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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