R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
