areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My life is pants optional.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
