i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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