ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
