508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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