I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
