Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
