do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
