I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
