Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
