I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
