Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
there is puke in my bra ... again
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
