i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
