So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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