Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
