Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize