porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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