Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
