my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
