i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
