her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
