They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
