well I can't set my house on fire every night
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
