my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's never too late to be topless.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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