pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
