you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
