Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
