real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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