did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I will pee on everything he values.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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