i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
