Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
