R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
