he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
